From Wilde to Wild Dreams

“The Wit of Oscar Wilde” is the title of a book published by The Folio Society of London in 1997. After Rosita died, I had more time on my own and I joined the Folio Society which was very good at sending me their product catalogues. They also gave me very generous discounts, and I was tempted by the reduced prices to buy a few books every now and then which they shipped to me very efficiently, sometimes twice. I had always liked Wilde’s quotes, which was why I bought the book. Patrick Walsh, who was born and lives in Dublin, edited a little book with the title, “Oscar Wilde – The Worlds’ Favourite 100 Quotes” which is very handy and easy-read and from which I picked up some one-liner at times. I happened to run into Walsh at an Irish Pub when I was in Dublin, probably around May 2017, and got a copy from him personally with his autograph. In the Foreword, Walsh said that “Oscar Wilde is arguably the most quoted man in history.” Let me quote some more of what Walsh said, “He arrives in New York with nothing to declare but his genius in 1882. On his return to England he had London at his feet. In 1895 he was charged and convicted of homosexual activities. He was born in Dublin in October 1854 and died a broken man in exile in Paris on 30 November 1900. He always said his memory would live on.”

It is difficult to pick favorites from the 100 quotes but let me try. On temptation, “The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.” On Pleasure, “Pleasure is the only thing that one should live for.” On Women, “Women are meant to be loved not understood,” and lastly which is my favorite, on Forgiveness, “Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.” His quote on Women reminds me of the lyrics of “How to handle a woman?” in Camelot, the Director of which film Joshua Logan or the music composer Federick Loewe could have picked up the inspiration for the lyrics which had effectively said the same thing.

Back to the book itself, which said that the contents were “selected and introduced by Merlin Holland,” who was the only grandson of Oscar Wilde, born in December 1945, or 80 years of age now, in London, England. His full name is Christopher Merlin Vyvyan Holland and is a British and Irish biographer and editor who has researched and written on his grandfather extensively. He married Sarah Parker – no relations to Sarah Jessica Parker of the Sex and the City fame – and had a son Lucian Holland who was born in 1979 and a technologist and environmentalist. As to why Holland and not Wilde, here is a summary. In 1884, Oscar Wilde married Constance Mary Lloyd, daughter of a well-known Irish barrister. She bore him two sons in the next two years, Cyril and Vyvyan. In 1895, Oscar Wilde became entangled with the Marquess of Queensberry whom he sued for libel unsuccessfully, and because of which he was arrested, tried for homosexuality and sentenced to two years hard labour. After Wilde’s conviction, Constance changed her and her sons’ last name to Holland to dissociate them from his scandal. She was born Constance Mary Holland (January 1868 – April 1898) and her motivation to change the children’s name was to protect them from public scrutiny.  Cyril became a soldier and was killed in action in 1915 (aged 29). His brother Vyvyan (November 1886 to October 1967) was an author and translator. He married Violet Mary Craigie in 1914 who died in 1918. He was commissioned a second lieutenant during the First World War but became a translator and editor for the BBC at the beginning of the Second World War. In 1943 he married his second wife Dorothy Thelma Helen Besant and had a son Merlin Holland in 1945, who complied the book I referred to.

I must say that I was attracted to Wilde by the quotations I have read and by reports on his wit and humor. Let me quote Walsh again, “On one occasion when he was called upon to uphold his boast that he could talk spontaneously on any subject a cry went up, “The Queen”. Without pausing, Wilde replied, “The queen is not a subject.”

Since posting my last blog, I have noticed, once again, that Su’s blogs attracted a much greater following. In particular, the photos on us two taken by the pro at Yangshou at the expensive hotel resort attracted over 120 likes after the first two or three days and some interesting comments. We were both rather pleased. Separately, I have been having a few meals with exotic food and wine, which often led to some wild dreams, often related to my previous jobs, which in turn ended with bad dreams. The good news is I always forget the contents soon afterwards, though the people who treaded into my dreams are more difficult to forget.

Let me finish with something unusual, related to Zetland Hall. I had taken to a meeting on 31 July by mistake an umbrella belonged to Su on a rainy day but which I could find when I left after dinner. Someone took it away by mistake. It upset Su a bit, so much so I wrote an open message on Facebook besieging its return if possible. I went a week later. No luck. Finally, earlier this week, I found it lying there at an umbrella stand outside. I was so pleased to bring it back to its owner, and I hope she was pleased too. Yes, these days, we must learn to be happy with small things and forget about any miseries regardless of how they came about.